I know and I’m really sorry about it. He knows how sorry I am. But long-distance relationships don’t work out. It’d only hurt him more. And when he cries? It makes me want to cry. 

The last time I did that was more than two years ago. I was stuck in a daze of confusion during that time of my life, anonymous. Besides, I’m pretty sure there was supposed to be a man-hole cover over that thing. It wasn’t my fault. But, no. I don’t do stuff like that any more.

Of course I’m going to miss Sam, anon! I’m going to miss all my friends. Like I said, the glee club are like my family. Even the new kids, who are like the orphans that no-one really wants at first but we all grew to love. I guess I’m going to miss Sam in a special way, if that makes sense? He’s my blonde bestie and he made me feel really loved and at home, even when Santana had left me.

Of course I knew that, anon! What kind of smarty-pants guesses at stuff like that? You have to know for sure before you can throw out slanderous accusations, a policy which Fondue for Two has followed consistently throughout the years. 

text: I’m okay, I think. I’d like to see you again. And Lord Tubbington has a present for you.

What I said to Sam wasn’t cool, although I’m not entirely sure how you know about all this. Anyways, all I know is that I’m going to miss Sam and Santana a lot, but in different ways.

Probably when I went as a peanut allergy. I think I looked dangerously hot. Like a chili peanut, maybe. Because that’d be spicy and risky.

I lost count after ten. Because, like all geniuses, that’s how many toes I have.